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Healthy Conflicts

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Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:4

Conflicts are part of life, especially within a family, and these conflicts can be beneficial if we view them as a means of progress in understanding ourselves and others. However if we view a conflict from a self-centered mind set and seek to blame and criticize other people, then conflicts can destroy the relationship.

The first step in resolving a conflict or disagreement is to try and understand the other person’s viewpoint. Seek to resolve the issue when both parties are agreeable. Getting emotional when things don’t go our way leads to blaming the other person for the problem, and no compromise can be attained. When this occurs, the conflict usually escalates and we say things that we often regret later. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, (Matthew 12:36). Be careful with the words you speak, especially in conflicts, because words have the power to help or hurt people, including ourselves.

If we are really interested in understanding more about the other person, then resolving conflicts is great way to show God’s love and a caring heart. Christian’s are always interested in reflecting Christ and ministering to everyone, and they view conflicts as an opportunity to reveal God’s heart. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith (Galatians 6:10).

If a conflict arises and one party responds in a self-centered emotional state, then the other party should remain calm and respond with Godly wisdom, saying nothing to escalate the emotional state. When one party responds with angry emotions, the other party has to be the adult who knows how to calm the situation. If neither party acts as an adult, both responding with self-centered angry emotions, then the relationship can easily sustain damage.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:8). Finding peaceful solutions to conflicts can be very rewarding and can improve any relationship. However there are people who respond in self-centered emotionally angry ways because it is probably a habit from childhood. If there is no hope in finding a solution for a conflict, then counseling is recommended along with much prayer. Never degrade yourself to the level of someone who doesn’t seek an agreeable solution to a conflict.

Today if any conflicts arise take the attitude of understanding the other person and respond with Godly wisdom to seek a solution. Remember this is an opportunity to show your respect for the other person and show your willingness to listen and understand.

Let’s Pray: Lord, help me to seek a resolution to any conflicts, to respond calmly and with wisdom. Please keep me from reacting in anger and possibly damaging an opportunity to reflect your love to someone. Help me to be controlled by the spirit, not by the person I am in conflict with. Guide me in the spirit with a heart of love and compassion in all conflicts. In Jesus name,